So after all that, getting through Hurricane Sandy, never losing power, what did I do? I dropped my iphone into the bowl of french toast mix I was making, to celebrate the hurricane being gone. And now it has no sound unless you plug in headphones--speakers aren't working, and I can't hear anyone if you call me. So it's sitting in a bowl of rice, and hopefully I won't have to buy a new phone, because apparently "liquid damage is not covered under warranty".
And if I do have to buy a new phone, I need to wait two weeks before I'm eligible for the subsidized upgrade from Verizon.